We get by… With a little help from our friends.
And that couldn’t be more true than when you’re a new mom with a colicky baby. We all need a little help sometimes.
What does it mean if a baby has colic? In general, colic is confirmed if a baby cries for 3 or more hours a day, 3 or more days a week, for 3 or more weeks.
What does this mean for your best friend… who now has a newborn with colic? It means that she needs a support system of friends and family. Now more than ever.
It’s OK if you’re not sure what to do to help. If you’ve never had a baby with colic, it might feel like a foreign language. That’s why we’re here. We want to give you the info and tools you need to support your friend. Here are things you can do that can help you help her.
10 Things to Do When Your BFF Has a Baby With Colic
1. Gift Your Friend the ByeByeCry™ Sound Machine
Give your friend the soothing sounds they didn't know they needed.
The ByeByeCry ™ sound machine for colic has 5 colic sounds and 5 soothing sounds. It helps support a colicky baby now and in the future, when they’ve grown out of colic.
When your friend says, “My baby has colic! What can I do?”, let them know all the amazing resources right at their fingertips in the ByeByeCry ™ Club:
2. Be a Shoulder to Cry on and an Ear to Listen
New moms go through a lot.
TTC – Trying To Conceive
Pregnancy and everything that comes with it
Birth
Postpartum changes and healing
Not to mention the hormonal and emotional changes that come along with giving birth to another human. Throw a confirmation of colic into the mix, and multiply the exhaustion and emotional toll by… a big number.
Sometimes, a friendly shoulder to cry on or vent to is what a woman really needs. Remember this is her experience and her feelings are valid. Don’t judge; help her feel at ease by reminding her that you’re not judging her. This can help create a safe space to share her true feelings.
3. Make & Deliver Food
What can you do to help your friend through colic? Make food. Healing soups, homemade frozen dinners, lactation cookies, and other postpartum foods for new moms. Then, deliver the food.
Don't ask – just make and deliver!
4. Offer to Give Your Friend a Break
This completely depends on your relationship and comfort level. A break is definitely a great thing to offer when your best friend’s baby has colic and won’t stop crying. A break could look like…
You sitting next to the crib while your friend takes a shower
You holding the baby in this doctor-recommended position. It helps with colic relief while mama eats and hydrates.
If you wanna go above and beyond, stay the night with your BFF. Let her sleep in another room. That way, mama can get some needed rest. All caregivers should remember: never shake the baby.
5. Run an Errand for Her
Grocery runs are always needed and appreciated. Run out and grab your BFF’s favorite signature coffee. Add some extra whip cream or chocolate sprinkles! She ran out of toilet paper? You got this.
Running errands as a new mom – especially with a colicky baby – can be daunting. Your kindness will go far.
6. Learn More About Colic
Educate yourself about all things colic. Knowledge is power. The more you know about what your BFF is going through, the more you can lend a hand. Read up on how to soothe a colicky baby. Learn about all the different sounds the ByeByeCry™ sound machine has to support babies with colic.
7. Check-in With Your BFF’s Partner
They need support, too. They also may need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Being there for them is a great help to the whole family.
If your BFF is a single parent or if you know they’re alone, please check on them more frequently.
8. Take Your BFF and Her Baby for a Car Ride or Accompany Them on a Stroll
Offer to drive your friend and baby around. As a new mom, she may be too tired to operate a vehicle. Colicky babies love the vibration of a car ride. Often, this can help stop the crying. So this is a win-win.
Stroll together and let your BFF walk freely while you drive the carriage.
9. Offer Helpful Reminders
When your friend has a baby with colic, remind her:
Everyone’s parenting journey is different.
Your friendship is a safe space.
You’re not judging her.
She’s not alone. Many women can relate to what she’s going through with colic.
Talking with a professional can help.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-943-5746 (1-833-9-HELP4MOMS)
National Parent Hotline at 1-855-427-2736 (1-855-4A PARENT)
It’s normal to feel like you’re not doing anything right – colicky babies appear unsatisfied much of the time. Your feeling is a natural reaction.
Consider therapy (depending on your friendship, don’t force this topic).
Talk to your OBGYN.
Remind her that she’s the best mom for her baby. She’s already a great mom – the fact that she is trying every day. She’s taking care of her colicky baby, even if the connection she yearns for isn’t there yet.
Motherhood is not always going to feel like a 2-way street. Sometimes you are just giving 100% of the time… and feeling no love or cuddles back.
This is hard because it’s the opposite of the pretty picture of motherhood that society paints or that we’ve imagined in our minds. Remind her how great of a job she’s doing and to have compassion for herself.
10. Send a Message Just to Say You’re Thinking of Her
Send a text, write a note, or leave a post-it on her car window. To say she’s amazing and you’re thinking of her.
11. Gift a Pair of Noise-Canceling Headphones
This last recommendation for a way to help your friend came straight from our amazing ByeByeCry community on TikTok!
Noise-canceling headphones.
This is something I wish I’d thought of or been given when I was struggling through colic. These headphones can definitely help when you’re feeling overstimulated by the cries and screams.
When a mother is trying to comfort a colicky baby, it’s important that she first regulate herself. Remember, it’s OK if you need a minute to take a deep breath and re-center.
To be clear, the headphones are not a tool to use to ignore the baby; use them when you are caring for him or her. It’s a lot less stressful to walk around the house with the baby when you have a buffer between your ears and the continuous screaming.
That’s why this recommendation for purchasing a pair of noise-canceling headphones is a good one. They can help block out the immediate noise and allow you to focus on your baby. Thank you to the community member who posted this!
What a wonderful example of how the ByeByeCry community comes together and helps each other through colic!
And stay tuned for future ByeByeCry™ products that are sure to brighten up her day! Wink, wink – cute merch alert, coming soon! Make sure you’re first in line when they drop.