As you may know by now, our first little girl had severe colic.
The cries, screams, tears, and sleepless nights were rough, to say the least. We got through it. Relieved that phase of babyhood was over.
Then… a couple of years later…
You guessed it: our second baby also had colic.
I couldn’t believe it. Why was this happening? Why were the colic gods pounding on our door yet again? It felt:
After all the feelings, emotions, and sleepless nights, I made it to the other side. Colic was gone for good. And while it was extremely difficult, I learned so much along the way.
Read on to see how we tackled two colicky babies and why we’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Thinking of Baby #2? Worried About Colic Again?
Expanding a family by adding a second baby can be a big decision. And if your first baby had colic, it’s completely understandable you’d worry that the second might, too.
Will my second baby have colic? There’s no study or data that can predict if a second child will have colic. According to Boston Children’s Hospital, up to 30% of babies will be diagnosed with colic. This number applies to all babies, whether it’s your second, third, etc.
This also applies to births of multiples. While having twins with colic is not common, it can happen.
Since there’s no way to predict, here are a few things you can do to work through any concerns or anxiety.
Have an honest talk with your partner about the possibility of having a second baby with colic.
Remember your toolkit of what worked to soothe your first colicky baby.
Add the ByeByeCry™ sound machine to your baby’s nursery.
Join the ByeByeCry Club on social media – the more I’ve posted, the more I realize there are so many mamas out there who have the exact same worries that I did.
You are not alone.
My Truth About Having a Second Baby With Colic
I’ve always promised raw and real here at the ByeByeCry Blog. So here goes.
What was it like to go through colic twice?
Listening to the screaming was much more triggering the second time around. All I wanted was to enjoy the first few months of motherhood. I felt so much guilt about not enjoying it the first time. I had hoped the second time would heal that experience, but it felt like PTSD. I was reliving all these emotions I’d had with my first colicky baby.
The colic cries filled me with anxiety because I knew how challenging the journey was. I kept thinking:
What if this lasts a year again?
When is this going to end? (since I knew how long it could last)
How am I being robbed of a blissful newborn experience AGAIN?
I will never survive this time, especially having a toddler, too.
But that was the silver lining: my toddler.
My oldest motivated me to get through it. I saw what a sparkly, vibrant, loving child my first daughter had blossomed into. This was the light at the end of the tunnel that helped me get through it with the second.
I knew that the inseparable bond would come. After building such a strong, loving connection with my first, I stopped doubting myself.
As much as I was triggered, I knew colic would end and that there would be a happy toddler on the other side. This image in my mind helped get me through.
How to Cope When Pregnant With Baby #2 After Going Through Colic
When I was pregnant, one of my friends joked, “If you have another baby with colic, someone needs to check out whatever DNA you and Eddie [my husband] are cooking with over there. Because it’s impossible for this to happen twice!”
We laughed about it. But I still had anxiety and tried to push those worries away.
I sought out support to help me through pregnancy. Things that can help you cope before, during, and after colic:
Talk to a therapist
Call a support hotline
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-943-5746 (1-833-9-HELP4MOMS)
National Parent Hotline at 1-855-427-2736 (1-855-4A PARENT)
Talk to your partner and be open about your concerns about a 2nd baby
Join a community mother's group. Ask the local library or YMCA if they have programs for new mothers.
How Was the Experience With Colic the Same or Different the 2nd Time Around?
If you’ve gone through colic once, you’re much more prepared for it with baby #2. I knew what was coming. But I still had so many emotions and questions. It seemed unfair to go through colic twice. Why me?
ButI knew the tricks of the trade with baby #2…
Best bottles to use
Best GI Specialist
Best hypoallergenic formula (for milk sensitivities)
Best positions to hold the baby
What NOT to try
Who to go to for support... and who to NOT go to!
Now it’s my turn to help families. I’ve created a product and brand – and now we’re forming a community. A place where moms, dads, and caregivers can visit for info & stories, tips & tricks, and tons of empathy. No matter if it’s your first baby with colic or your second or third – I can relate!
And don’t forget: just because you had a colicky baby doesn’t mean your next baby will have colic. No matter what, we’re here for you.
Was It Worth It Having a Second Child After Having One With Colic?
One million percent.
I’d do it a million times over again just to watch these two siblings love each other, laugh, and smile. I feel so grateful they have each other. Watching their undeniable connection as siblings is worth all of the colic cries.
Colic is LONG GONE. I remind myself that through all the present giggles, birthdays, and Christmas mornings, colic was just a small chapter in our life. A tough road, yes… but one worth traveling.
When someone doesn’t want to expand their family because of their journey with colic, I understand. I share this story to be open and honest about our journey. To open the conversation that is often kept silent about the realities of colic.
If you’re thinking about expanding your family,
Trust your intuition and be honest with yourself.
Don’t let anyone else put pressure on you.
Make the decision when you are ready.
And if you decide it is something you do/don’t want, follow your heart.
For the moms who are feeling discouraged, I’ll say I’d go through colic 1 million times to have these two little angels. If you’re dreaming of a sibling for your child, I personally think it’s worth taking a chance. And remember, there’s no guarantee your second baby will have colic.
For the moms who are feeling uncertain and scared, I see you and I was you. As I mentioned, you shouldn’t ever feel any pressure. You will come to the best decision for you and your family.
No matter what size your family is, you’re welcome in our community. ByeByeCry is here to make sure everyone feels heard, supported, and understood.
We’re so grateful to grow with you.